> Be Tim Cook > Microsoft, Goog, Meta burning billions for AI > stocks go wild > half-assedly promise new Siri > delay half-assed Siri > keep shipping iPhones > no promises of AGI next quarter > stock called "boring" for 18 months straight > still have no strategy > ask daddy Sundar for help with Siri > market starts to hate all the capex > AI trade starts cracking > Nasdaq down 5% in a week > AAPL +7.5% > Tim Apple mode activated > Haters suddenly quiet > Still no functional Siri > Still no strategy > Doesn't matter > Still winning